OH MY GOD!!!! I hate the contract, who invented this system, it is pure punishment to not only the child but the parents who have to sign the blasted thing and then reprimand their child for all the failures at school that day. What is the contract you ask? Well, it is a piece of paper that changes to a different colour each week, that is given by the school principal or dean for your child to get marked on their behaviour and signed off.
In Miss 13's case 5's are excellent while 1's are bad, bad, bad. Don't get me wrong, to begin with I understood the purpose, yes it is supposed to make her be responsible for her behaviour and make her answerable for her actions. Ok, I get it, but what about some wins. I was reassured that yes she would get rewards too.
8 weeks down the track and I HATE the thing, all that has happened is the teachers judge her, either she acts up more or that critique her so much that she is in more trouble than before and is now getting not only more pink slips (part referrals) but seeing weekly or twice weekly full referrals. Each day she has to bring that silly damn contract home to me and then I have to tell her off for the things she has done wrong. I am so over being the baddie who has to tell her off for the things that did not take place while in my care. I not only had to tell her off but if she missed getting it signed or got 3's, 2's or 1's then she was not allowed the TV for the night (actions, consequences). The problem with all of this, as it is often a trigger point for her rage so you can see why I hate the damn thing.
I even asked the principal if we could stop it, as I explained to him it just creates unneeded stress in the house. His take - well she needs to be held responsible for her actions. So damn it, it stays.
What I decided then, is stuff the negative stuff, let's find the 4's and 5's, talk about what went well for her to achieve them. Still, allow some TV maybe not as long as she would like but a compromise. We are day two of this new way and tonight she came home with all 5's. Celebrations!!!! Super proud of her.